Equip Yourself For Casual Dating
Posted on August 08, 2011 by Malti Bhojwani PCC, One of Thousands of Executive Coaches on Noomii.
Have you come out of years of painful relationships and have forgotten how much fun dating can be? If you feel that you are ready for the fun and exc
Equip yourself for casual dating – More tips from Life Coach – Malti Bhojwani++
- Be honest. Be honest. Be honest.*
Be honest with yourself first – and with your casual dates. Casual dating is not for the emotionally dependent or the faint hearted. If you know deep inside that you are looking for a long term relationship then don’t do it. Be clear about what you don’t want and what you do want.
Have you come out of years of painful relationships and have forgotten how much fun dating can be? If you feel that you are ready for the fun and excitement without the hassles of a committed relationship, then you are set to casual date for a while. Remember that someone you are dating casually may only want to do that, so again if you are playing casual and hoping that it will grow into something more, you are not made for it.
Decide on the time frame. How long do you want to date casually for? A few months, a year? Til you turn a certain age?
Be honest with your casual dates
Be clear in your own head that this is not someone you are trying to “snare” and get to “fall in love with you”, so you don’t need to play any games or hide or pretend about anything. The best part about casual dating is that you get to speak honestly about your desires and what you want. You get to be completely selfish. If they don’t have common desires, then you don’t have to hang out with or see this person ever again.
*Learn Learn Learn
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Use casual dating as a fun way to learning more about yourself. What you like and don’t like. This will equip you as well for when you are ready for a relationship. Get to know another person without any commitments or expectations of sex. It is all about you, no one else. In coaching we say that the best place to learn about yourself and how you operate as a person is in an involvement with someone else. You get to be you 100% with no agenda and they get to be them, no one is trying to please anyone. This is a great way to learn how you react to different situations and people and it is so much fun! Probably the most fun you will ever have.
KISS – Keep it Simple & Safe
Don’t try too hard or wait too long, if someone you went on one date with or exchanged numbers with has not responded to your messages or invitations, move on, they are not interested.
Your dates could be dating others as well and the last thing a man or woman wants to know is who you are going out with tomorrow night. Be respectful and polite. You have been honest about your intentions with him or her, but there is no need to kill the “romance” and fun of the night.
Remember, casual or not, a date is about feeling exclusive and interested in. If you both want it to be physical, remember to be safe. Also, never casual date with someone who has a girlfriend/boyfriend, spouse. It is dishonest and unethical and there are a lot of fun single people you can meet. So why go there?
Be True to yourself – this may be the only place you ever really get to.
Keep your own core values in mind and express them. Is it Adventurousness, Boldness, Charm, Humour, Compassion, Creativity, Flexibility, Playfulness?
Just because you are dating casually does not mean you have to keep all your niceness, romantic side, compassion at bay, express yourself, it is all about being honest, with no agenda or vested interest. Express yourself in the way you dress, the music you like and food or drinks you enjoy. Do not hide or display anything that you are not just to impress or not scare away your date. When it is no longer fun, it is time to stop.
Lastly,
when it comes to the time that you no longer find interacting with this person fun and light, it is probably one of two things, either you are bored, decided you don’t really “like” this person, in which case it is time to politely and respectfully say, hey, bye, or, you have discovered that you are expecting a lot more from them than they are giving, in which case again, it is time to be honest and ask. Yes a casual date could grow into something more, but when one of you start feeling that way, be honest. If they do not feel the same way, have no bad feelings, take your fun times and experiences and go out there and declare that you are looking for a serious relationship and be honest about that, in order to keep all the “casual-daters” away!
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