031. how to move on after a mistake? how not to focus on the past
Posted on December 04, 2020 by Pierre Baudin, One of Thousands of ADD ADHD Coaches on Noomii.
Why would you be in the past? You don’t have to look back, it won’t help you move forward.
“Oh, yesterday was horrible. Oh, I wish that the things unfolded in a different way. Oh, I wish I hadn’t done that. Oh, I had a bad attitude. Oh, why did I do that? Oh, I shouldn’t have said that.” – These are all the spilt milk.
The true and only important question is actually: “Oh, What am I gonna do now?” That’s you thinking about moving forward. And well… now you’re gonna pay more attention to yourself. You should NOT repeat what you did/said. You can ask for forgiveness. You can say that you’re sorry. However, don’t give yourself the ultimate punishment and start saying things like “Oh my, I’m a very evil person”, “Everything I do is wrong”, “Why is this happened to me?”.
17 – NOT ATTRIBUTING ESSENCE SO STRONGLY TO THINGS
CAN BE A SOURCE OF FREEDOM.
Remember: Not attributing essence so strongly to things can be a source of freedom; meaning that you don’t have to add the feeling of you being AN EVIL PERSON to a thought or a situation that happened in your life.
These are all thoughts that are pushing you so that you are stuck in the past. Why would you be in the past? You don’t have to look back, it won’t help you move forward. If you’re walking on a street while looking back, you’ll hit a light post. You can hit a person! Or worst… You’ll keep hitting EVERYTHING that is in your present. You start hitting your present and you won’t be able to live happily in it, and the present is all that we truly have.
The history of life – which is somewhat told only by the winning side – and our personal past is useful for a couple of things. First, so we recognize what wasn’t good for us so we don’t repeat the same acts/events. And also so we can start changing ourselves and our lives. How are you going to change? That’s the true regret: acknowledge what happened, forgive yourself/others and look ahead to see how you can CHANGE.
When you regret something you said or did, you’re actually noticing some of the flaws you have within yourself and CHANGING them. You’re not noticing the flaws in you as a person, but as a society, as a whole, because after all, you’re everything. You ARE ALL there is. And when you are able to act on the flaws you found in the system because you’re willing to make it a better world to live in, you’ll start taking the right actions and decisions. With this in mind, the appropriate thoughts will come seamlessly.
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