What Goes In Must Come Out, But To What Limit?
Posted on August 04, 2011 by Veronica Forsman, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
As women, we still choose again and again to place our needs and desires aside for the sake of false beliefs.
It’s funny to me that even in all of the reading, all of the discussion and knowledge we have of the truth, we as women still choose again and again to place our needs and desires aside for the sake of false beliefs.In speaking with over 300 women over the span of a year, I confirmed sadly, that as a general rule, women believe that they SHOULD NOT put their needs ahead of the needs of others, be it family, work or friends. What was uncovered was an understanding that by putting their own needs and desires at any time as a priority on any given day, they are of the belief that this makes them selfish, self serving, even narcissistic…Where on earth is this coming from? More importantly, in today’s North American society, how is it that we still feel this way, KNOWING it makes no sense? Another question I must ask is this – Do you find yourself in the same category, feeling in fact, the very same way in those rare moments that you’d like to treat yourself to anything resembling self-care and rejuvenation?So how do we break the cycle?Let’s use common sense here. Consider the lesson given to us each and every time we get on a plane. They tell us again and again, should the air masks deploy, ALWAYS put your own air mask on BEFORE you put one on another, be it a dependant, a child, etc. You cannot help them until you have helped yourself. It makes sense, right?I use this metaphor in my own coaching practice with clients…Consider yourself a vessel.This vessel is meant to be filled up, through learning, through love, through connection and encouragement. Through rejuvenating and relaxing practices. Through purposeful living and being. All of these things and more pour into your vessel, helping you to feel fulfilled and filled up. Simple idea, right? Now stay with me here. This vessel is also meant to pour out. You give each and every day to the life you choose to live out. Your family. Your job. Your relationships. Then there are all of the things we are called to do, all of the expectations others have of us, and all of those things you cannot plan for, the ‘life happens’ list of things, both good and bad. Throw on top of that the self-expectations we place on ourselves, some quite unrealistic…You are pouring out faster than anything or anyone can pour in. So what happens? Your vessel dries up. It eventually cracks. And now anything that is poured in simply cannot stay in. It just pours right out the bottom, through the cracks we have made in this vessel of ours called Life.YOU choose what goes in and you choose what goes out. It’s your vessel, your life. You’re only given one life.But I love this thought. That we can have a do-over any time we choose. Meaning, you can choose at any time to choose a sealant of your choice and close up those cracks so that nothing else can seep out of the bottom of your life, you, the vessel. This is where it starts.It starts with you. You make a decision to fix the broken pieces and you move forward. YOU. It starts with you. Breathe in, Believe in the life you have been given and choose to BE. Simply BE. Now, I’m not saying you just have to BE in every moment of every day, but you know because your mind and your body and your heart tells you so, there are moments in each and every day, that you simply have to BE.What does this mean? It means, take some time for you. Put some time into you. This is not selfish, or greedy; it deserves no guilt or shame for taking it. It’s meant to recharge you, reignite a belief in yourself and a belief in your life. By doing this, it’s amazing how much more you have to offer others then, in a more authentic, real way.So now the question becomes, HOW DO I DO THAT?1 – Listen to Yourself. What are you telling yourself you want or need TODAY?2 – Live in the moment. Do not spend wasted moments looking behind you at your past, or looking to far forward at a future that has not yet shaped itself. Just focus on today. In this moment. Anyone can do that, right?3 – Be Realistic with Yourself. If you were to stand back and really listen to what you say to and for yourself…is it truth or is it lies? Get real.4 – Give up the Guilt. There is no time today to be a martyr. Give up the guilt and give yourself a break. If it’s good enough for others, why not you? Don’t waste your energy feeling an emotion that does not serve you in a positive reaffirming manner.5 – Connect and Create Accountability. Take a moment to consider those people in and around your world that will help you to truly see yourself for the wonderful and unique individual you are. These people are the truth tellers in your life. You spend time and energy pouring into you and they keep telling you that you need to give to yourself but you shake them off. Now is the time to reconnect, speak your truth and allow them to hold up the mirror so you can really see you how they see you. This will help you to be real and able to make those first forward motion steps into putting back into yourself.These steps are a wonderful beginning for honoring yourself and your life. It starts now. Today. Tomorrow will come soon enough with it’s own agenda. Don’t assume you already know what tomorrow will bring. That’s what makes life so amazing. And remember…“You can have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call failure is not the falling down, but the staying down”. ~ Mary PickfordInterested in discovering a wonderful way to put into your vessel? Consider attending the 3rd Annual Becoming Authentically You Women’s Motivational Retreat on Sept 17th and 18th! It’s going be a fantastic weekend, meant to relax and rejuventate you! Check out the details on our events page. Or feel free to email me directly with any of your questions or concerns at veronica@yourtrueimage.ca
