You don't see what others see in you

Posted on October 22, 2020 by Louis Morrissette, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

You don’t see what others see in you.

We tend to obsess on little details and specific tasks. Past mistakes come to haunt us.

We get to decide what is important and what isn’t. Many of our decisions are dictated by societal norms and beliefs. And boy do we have a lot!

From things your grandparents told you to what you’ve learned from friends playing in the playground. From your parents in your everyday household to what you’ve seen on the news and in tv shows.

Judgement is huge. It’s something that we have learned as we were growing up. To judge.

What would it look like if you judged yourself a little less?

Stop and take a moment to imagine what you could accomplish if you didn’t have to do everything perfectly.

Holy shit that’s a hell of a lot of things.

I have a concept that I apply with clients that work with me to break free of perfectionism.

I call it “Purposeful imperfection”.

I could tell you to let go of judgement until I’m blue in the face and wouldn’t change shit OR I can help you experience it for yourself.

It’s all about learning where the fears come from and challenging them.

Hint: All perfectionism comes from fear. Yup.

Instead of telling you this snake pit is safe to walk through, you get to set up your own snake pit and put only one in it. You decide the size and everything. You get to experiment.

Maybe a snake pit is a little extreme, but you get the idea. It’s building the confidence to face those fears.

Purposeful imperfection is taking a small step that you normally wouldn’t take and see what happens.

I started with wearing mismatched socks. AND. IT. TERRIFIED. ME. I was shaking. My fear of judgement was sooo fucking strong. What will people think?

Here’s what was really interesting

1) Most people never noticed

2) Those who did either said nothing or complimented me

3) Some people I knew started doing it too after seeing me because they thought it was fun

4) NO ONE SAID ANYTHING BAD

Sure the goal was not to wear mismatched socks, but to challenge the story I had built in my mind that I would be ridiculed. This helped build my confidence.

We’re so conditioned.

What is one fear you’d like to challenge? Yes, that means getting really uncomfortable. It also means taking a step towards your full money-making potential and sense of fully being alive.

What is one tiny step you could take to be purposefully imperfect in that area?

Let your weird light shine.

Be authentic.

Be comfortable saying NO.

Respect your own time.

Create the boundaries you need to do what YOU want.

Breaking down fears and perfectionism is counter-intuitive. Your brain is looking to keep you safe. That means within what it knows and “can control”.

It’s leaning back in a deep dark void and trusting that even though you’ll be terrified as you fall through it, a bed of feathers and a bright wonderful world is waiting for you on the other side.

So many people avoid this and stay in the gray muddled world above. It seems fine if you’re used to it. It’s something that has been built slowly over decades. It’s a bit like the blue light filter on your phone or your computer. Have you ever turned it off at night to see the difference?

Get rid of those filters in your life. That’s what perfectionism is.

I’m cheering you on! I want to hear about what fears you’d like to challenge. I’ll happily help you find your next tiny step.