5 Challenges to Gossip: The Wisdom of Socrates
Posted on September 08, 2020 by Andrew Bazakis, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
Advice from the ancient sage on an age-old flaw in the human condition.
No name is so synonymous with philosophy as, a teacher from 5th century BC Athens Greece. Two and half millennia have passed, and he is both studied and quoted by both academics and the general public alike. Philosophers being astute observers of human behavior and society, Socrates had some very distinct advice regarding gossip. This advice is commonly recounted in a story where apparently someone approached him about someone he knew. As the story goes, he stopped the speaker and insisted that before continuing that the message first pass what he called a “three-filter test.” If the information would not pass through each of these philosophical filters, then he insisted it be left unspoken. Use of this three-filter test would be just as apt today for those discerning what is worthy of time and attention. Even more applicable would be to apply to oneself prior to ones’ own speech about another. Here are five steps to wisdom regarding gossip according to Socrates:
Step 1: Wait first. We’re often so eager to hear “the news” about someone else that we don’t take a moment to pause to think about what type of information are courting. In his book Zen in the Martial Arts by Joel Hyams, the author recounted a story of one of one of his martial arts teachers eagerly waiting weeks for a letter by in the mail from his family in Korea. The author described the teacher receiving the letter from the postman, holding it for a moment and then setting it down, continuing the conversation begun before the letter’s arrival. Hyams knew that his teacher was anxious to hear news from his home country and asked why he did not open the letter immediately. The wise teacher responded that he was “overcoming haste”. In this he could later be more fully present in the moment to read and absorb what was written the letter. So tempting can be the lure of knowledge about others, that we can give in haste to hear any gossip. I would suppose that both Socrates and the martial arts master would agree that in cases of news of others, the first step is to pause, take a moment and wait, allowing time to think and act deliberately.
Step 2: Is it true? This is the first of the Socratic filter. The question Socrates asked of the gossiper who came to him was “Are you absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?” Most would agree the spreading lies is not a noble act, even if it’s without the intention of harm. We could imagine that the world would be a better place if we all made certain of the truth of our statements before speaking. If we are not entirely certain if we are to say is true, according to Socrates, we should hold our tongues. Likewise, if the source presenting the information is not reliable as to its accuracy, perhaps it’s not worth our time to listen to either.
Step 3: Is it good? Benjamin Franklin was reported to have said “Speak ill of no man, but speak all the good you know of everybody.” The spread damaging gossip can be tempting, as it feeds our own sense egos with a false sense of superiority over others. When we give in to this temptation are we not just yielding into the more crude impulses to feed our own ego at the detriment of someone else? We would be better off considering our own struggles and our own faults as after all, only our own do we know the most about and ultimately it is only these we can ever do anything about anyway.
Step4: Is it useful? In our current age we live in a world of constant distraction, streaming media, social media and smart devices, forever plugged in and “in touch”. We can easily be bombarded with information literally every moment of every day. For much of human civilization, the challenge for humanity was to obtain knowledge as this it was a rare and carefully guarded commodity, passed down often from one generation to the next. Now, we have the opposite problem of filtering through immense amounts of irrelevant information to find what is actually helpful and useful. For each of us what is useful may vary, but the ability to do so is often dependent on how clearly we understand our personal sense of purpose.
Step 5: If it doesn’t pass the filter, leave it be. So often we have developed personal rules and know of wisdom that is helpful, time-tested can overall improve the quality of our lives. Even when we are aware, how often do we disregard them in lieu of falling prey to our more base desires and preconceptions? If the science observed by modern psychologists such as Johnathon Haidt, a Professor of Social Psychology at New York University, are to be believed, this is actually normative in terms of our decision-making. That is, we tend listen to our intuitions first before self-disciplining with reason. The good news is that this process can be altered with time and deliberate action. In that, if we can summon the energy and the courage to forego speaking or hearing that which does not past three filter test. Then, in that moment, we have an opportunity to create a little bit of a better world; or at least prevent, even in a small way, fostering our society becoming that little bit worse through falsehood, slander and useless distraction.
