What are you going to do with your life?

Posted on September 08, 2020 by Andrew Bazakis, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

Walk in to any card store this week and you’ll see all kinds of advertisements about June being a time for “Dads and grads”. This of course referring to the American celebration of Father’s Day in June and also being the typical time for high school graduation parties. Nary a high school senior preparing to graduate has escaped hearing the question “So what’s your plan for after graduation?” or some other similar inquiry into their future occupational goals..

In today’s world of so many choices professionally speaking, the answer is not anywhere near as simple as it might’ve been at one time. There was once a day when if your family members were goat herders then you would be a goat herder and that’s just how things went. Nobody probably even asked what your plans were, society just assumed and understood. In our current civilization, however, children don’t find themselves necessarily already set in the occupation of their parents’ once they are grown and thus the process of having to decide on one’s vocation at the onset of adulthood becomes more so wide spread a concern.

The word vocation comes from the Latin “vocare” which means “to call.” So when deciding on an occupation this is as much an introspective processes as any, asking to what professional activity we have been called, or for which we are most well-suited and designed for. A great deal of pressure can surround this answer for the young person seeking for their sense of professional purpose. Adults with a few well-earned gray hairs on their head have figured out that the answer to that question sometimes changes over time. Finding the activity to which one will devote more waking hours than any other single activity is no minor decision, but hopefully it’s a choice the results of which can evolve and change over time as life does.

One paradigm that can be used for the young person to seek out their thoughts on the choice of a profession, and even guiding the direction of their post-secondary education, would be to consider the intersection between four elements: that for which they have a passion, that for which they have natural talent, that which aligns with their personal sense of purpose and that which can bring value to the lives of others.

Passion: Where your heart is

We all have preferred activities and non-preferred ones. Many people enjoy playing golf as a hobby and don’t particularly enjoy making the bed in the morning. Many would rather not do either of these professionally, with bed making being a necessary chore and playing golf delegated to the careless joys of being a hobby and not a professional commitment. True passion, however, captures one’s attention and motivations in a way deeper than other activities. Maybe one finds oneself “in the zone” when playing golf or when studying the intricacies of how a that bed you are making is structured and the assembly of an ideal confirmation of sheets and comforters from the ideal material may not only make an inherent sense to someone but also capture one’s attention. We can find ourselves “in the zone” so to speak with an activity for which we have a passion such that time stands still and our activity flows naturally. These activities nourish us and rejuvenate us and our work towards mastering them seems almost effortless. This experience is what University of Chicago researcher Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi has called the “autotelic experience” or by a shorthand name of “flow.” His research suggests that people derive more pleasure from their work than from leisure activity on the whole. Maybe this is why George Bernard Shaw described the idea of a vacation that never ends as “a good definition of hell.” The popular axiom about choosing a line of study or occupation to “follow your passion” isn’t necessarily bad advice, but on its own it is woefully incomplete.

Talent: Where the rubber meets the road

When I was growing up I had a friend named Steve. Steve was not only one of the nicest guys you’d ever want to meet, he is what is known as a natural athlete. Anything this guy could put his hands on athletically speaking, he was good at right away and he got even better quickly. If you were playing golf for years since you were very young and you taught him how to play for the first time, give it a month or two and he was better than you. In the athletic sense, Steve possessed a gift of raw talent. Nurtured talent yes, but some element of natural gift. We’ve all had that friend with a photographic memory or someone who never forgets a name (I am neither of those) or the guy you can pretty much fix anything mechanical or the lady who picks up new languages with lightning speed and apparent ease. We all have some gift or another. My friend Rob has repeatedly claimed that everyone has a superpower, and he means everyone. In some sense, Rob is exactly right. Find where your talent lives and then sharpen it getting better and better at that particular thing so that you can stand, and that is yet one more part choosing the right profession. In his book So Good They Can’t Ignore You, Georgetown University professor Cal Newport described in great detail how the nurturing of talent and its development through dedicated practice and hard work is essential for professional success, that following one’s passion alone as is commonly touted is rather incomplete advice. This work is extremely well-written and well worth the time to read. But nowwe have left with us question “why should we do what we do?” and with we turn inward to examine our sense of purpose.

Purpose: Why am I here?

In his book Getting to Why, Simon Sinek gives a road map of the journey deep inside our own psyche to discover our individual life’s purpose. According to Sinek, we do so by recalling and examining the stories of the events in our lives and with the help of a third party to assist in distilling out of these stories our own internal sense of life purpose and to put it into words. When we understand this, Sinek asserts, we will have much greater clarity regarding many of those other life decisions including our choice of occupation. If we make occupational or other choices that are contrary to this vector of our purpose this creates dissonance and unhappiness. The idea is that this sense of purpose is already existent deep in our subconscious so it is something the be discovered, not designed. If, however, we can be aware to the point of articulation of this purpose and then intentional in our choices, then life decisions are much clearer. Mr. Sinek’s work is superb and once again, very much worth the read, a wise use of your valuable time. You would be well served by reading it and engaging in the recommended exercises.

Value: How can I serve others

In a free society, unless one commits a crime or works for some form of a monopoly, one cannot make money without serving another human being in some way. The formula for creation of wealth allowing one to make a living is actually quite simple: wealth acquired is the result of the value what is provided multiplied by the number of people served by that product or service. So in choosing a profession and considering the other elements described above one must finally consider how those can be used to serve our fellow human being and make the world a better place. Ralph Waldo Emerson was known to have said “if one life has breathed easier because you have lived, you have succeeded.” If we can develop a skill that is not only valuable but rare, this increases that value, especially if it serves a large numbers of people. In that we can find success.

As depicted in the diagram above, one’s choice of profession can be approached trying to find where that sweet spot where one finds the intersection of one’s passions, talents, sense of purpose and the ability to provide value to others.

References:

Csikszentmihalyi, Mihaly (1998). Finding Flow: The Psychology of Engagement With Everyday Life. Basic Books.

So Good They Can’t Ignore You by Cal Newport