Eustress Vs. Distress

Posted on September 07, 2020 by Anne-Marie Dubreuil, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

September 3, 2020 by Anne Marie Dubreuil

How many people in the world feel stress today?

I don’t know for sure, but the way I see it, pretty much everyone in the world today experiences stress and anxiety to some degree.

The good news is that not all stress is bad.

WHAT! THERE IS GOOD STRESS?

Yes, my friends there is.

Not all stress is detrimental, not by a long shot. One kind of stress, called eustress, has actually been proven to give us the motivation we need to get things done. It also pushes us to do the hard things, like ask the guy out, to leave our job, and start our own business.

Eustress is that amped up feeling you get before getting married; it’s the butterflies in your stomach before a first date; it’s the bit of angst you feel before giving your presentation to a whole bunch of big wigs.

That’s healthy, it’s excitement, it’s what pushes us to do better and get things done we might not otherwise think we could.

Hope
When you encounter that stress, you know what it is. Use it to your advantage. Let it guide you through the hard things, and let it help you succeed.

Eustress can turn into distress, though, at least, that’s my experience.

If you misinterpret the eustress, and you let that little voice in your head tell you that you can’t do it, that you’re not good enough, and go against your gut feeling, that eustress turns into distress pretty quickly.

A great trick is when that voice comes in and says, “you don’t know that guy, what will he think of you?” Turn it around, and say “I don’t know that guy… yet, but I am about to get to know him.” And go on that date.

There are enough distress and anxiety in our lives. Don’t let the great stress slip away because…

There are enough distress and anxiety in our lives. Don’t let the great stress slip away because…

UNFORTUNATELY, THE BULK OF STRESS ISN’T SO GREAT.

Anyone who’s been in a near-miss accident, been living paycheck to paycheck, had a quarrel with a loved one knows about distress.

Show me someone who has never experienced stress, and I will show you a dead person. Sorry I know this is a little morbid… but isn’t it true?

EVERYONE alive experiences stress (sometimes good, mostly bad).

I will be bold here and say… well, 100% of people alive today experience stress.

I will be bold here and say… well, 100% of people alive today experience stress.

Yes, yes, some people are way better at managing and overcoming stress than others.

But that doesn’t mean these people don’t get stressed. It just means that they’re better able to cope with the stress, and they are maybe a little better equipped to end their daily stress cycle.

I am a Stress Management Coach, some people have a false perception that I should not get stressed out. That’s foolish, I just have a better coping mechanism, and I have learned how to deal with it and overcome some of my stress. But do I still get stressed… daily?

Heck yeah, I do!

Let’s face it; it’s all around us. We can’t escape from it.

CAN YOU REDUCE YOUR DAILY STRESS?

Of course, you can.

Let’s take your phone, for instance.

How often are you looking at your phone to do the following:

check emails
check texts
check Facebook
read/listen to/watch the news
check how many likes you have
Be honest now.

Be honest now.

Okay, if you’re like most people, you’re on your phone from the time you wake up to the moment you go to bed. I am ready to bet that there is rarely 1 hour of the day that you’re not checking your phone. If you’re honest with yourself… am I right?

I was very much like this until I did two things:

1) I put boundaries on myself and decided that 1 hour before I go to bed, I will not check my phone.

2) Once I was good with that, put boundaries on others and made it clear that I would not check my emails past 6 pm (I go to bed at 8 pm usually… but I am up pretty darn early too).

Then recently, I did two more things to get away from my phone even more:

1) I don’t check my phone when I wake up first thing. Instead, I meditate, and I read, and that’s usually between 3 am, and 4 am (told ya, I get up super early).

2) If I go out shopping, I bring my phone, but I don’t check emails. The only reason I bring it is in case I get a phone call from a client. But I must admit, half the time, I forget my phone.

What does this mean for you? Put your phone away (I’m sure you’ve heard that before). Go for a walk with your friend or loved ones. Go have a coffee and have a face to face conversation (even if it’s on zoom)… WITHOUT YOUR PHONE.

Stop checking your phone one hour before going to bed, don’t check your phone until an hour or two after you’ve woken up.

I dare you!

Try it for one week and see how you feel.

But no one will do it for you, no one will force you to do that… it will take self-discipline. It will take courage. It will take you making that conscientious choice.

MAKE HUMAN CONNECTIONS!

This is another excellent way to manage your stress, having a meaningful connection. Having people in your life that you can trust, and that you connect with regularly.

We are social animals… what does that mean?

It means that we take comfort in each other’s company. When we hang out with like-minded people, our stress goes away.

Even if you’re like me and you have social anxiety…

That is probably one of my most significant stress and anxiety trigger, go meet new people. But mostly, it is only distress when I let it become distressed because, for the most part, it’s eustress.

But how else will I connect? How will I grow my business?

I could be the victim of my stress, or I can utilize my anxiety to gauge the value it will bring me.

Let me tell you a story about this:

I took part in a marketing challenge the other week, and the first challenge was to do a quick live event. That made me feel sick in the pit of my stomach, it did.

Immediately I knew I had to do it. That was definitely Eustress, and I used it to push me and did it.

I did it (one of the most humbling moments in my recent history for sure). It wasn’t great, I didn’t get any attendees, but you know what, I put it out there anyway, and it’s still out there because it shows that I walk the talk.

Now, I could have been distressed about it. I could not have done it and felt miserable and failed. (by the way, you only fail when you give up… just a thought).

I could have been like, “that’s not for me.” “I won’t do it, what are people going to think of me?”

Did those thoughts come to mind? 100%. But I didn’t let it stop me. I turned the distress into eustress and let it guide me to success (because, for me, success was to put myself out there).

So one way to move your distress to stress is to change your definition of success for that particular action.

If I had said, success means I will have 10 people coming to my live event, I would have failed. If success had suggested that I would have 5 people knocking at my door for coaching, I would have lost.

Are you with me?

Distress can’t always be turned to eustress… or can it?

TURNING YOUR DISTRESS INTO EUSTRESS… IS IT POSSIBLE?

Oh, yes, it is!

I don’t have money to drink with my buddies or go with the girls for a night out. How can you switch those statements to eustress?

There is no one answer for everyone; that is something for you (or us if you hire me) to figure out.

But I will be bold here and say that all distress can be turned into eustress… ALL.

Granted, it can take some imagination and willingness to shift your perspective… but there is always a way to see things differently.

If there is something in your life where you can’t do this with… I can help you, that’s what I do. I will help you shift your perspective so that you can utilize your stress to move your forward.

Especially when we feel stuck because there are so many things in our lives that we’re stressed about. It comes to a point where we can see it anymore. That’s when you need someone like me… because it doesn’t have to be that way.

Really it doesn’t. If you’re tired of your stress, you know you’re meant for something more, and you want to get out of the storm of distress and move into the sunlight of fulfillment, sign up for a call.

WHAT’S YOUR NEXT STEP?

Feeling a little stressed about it, are you?

What’s the worse thing that could happen? You won’t die, I promise! (at least not from talking with me over zoom).

I am for you, and I want you to take action today… I believe in you, and I want you to take a bet on yourself.

If you don’t take action now and start making a change in your life… who will?

No one, don’t wait for a hero; YOU be the hero of your life, take charge, take action, and make the changes that you know you can make.

FEEL THE ANGST

You need help with that?

I am here, ready, and willing! Click here to get the conversation going with me, and let’s bring your life to the next level.

I love you, and I accept you… all of you have to do is reach out… no one else will do it for you (and even if they did… would you take it?)

Awwww, thank you so much for reading; I hope this kick in the pants was of value to you.

I wish you well, and I want you to reach your greatness.

Anne-Marie