What is Sacred Sexuality?
Posted on August 17, 2020 by Michelle Garfinkel, One of Thousands of Relationship Coaches on Noomii.
Sacred Sexuality uses sex as a spiritual practice similar to meditation and yoga.
Like many concepts in the realm of the Divine, knowledge of sacred sexuality is truly an experiential knowledge. Words can only point to and talk around what it is. It’s like reading a score of music instead of listening to the song. You might be able to get the gist, but until you have heard it, tried it with your own body, your knowledge is incomplete. But I’ll do my best to get the main points across.
My quick, “cocktail party” definition is: Sacred Sexuality is using sex as a spiritual practice similar to meditation and yoga.
I base my teachings on the Tantric premise that everything, from prayer to shit, is sacred. The Divine/God/Goddess/the Universe/The Cosmos is the foundational ground of being for everything that exists. Therefore, sex can be sacred as well.
The primary way of having some type of spiritual experience is to connect to the Divine in some way. More traditional ways of doing this are things like prayer, ritual, and fasting. But, if everything is sacred, than anything you do can potentially bring this connection. This includes things like folding laundry, scrubbing toilets, going to work, sitting in traffic, and having an orgasm.
If you learn to see the inherent Divinity inside yourself, your body, your genitals, your partner, the experience of pleasure, and so on, you can leverage the inherently intimate nature of sex to connect to the Divine itself.
Though connecting to the Divine has obvious spiritual benefits there are more practical benefits as well. You can experience things like full-body orgasms, cosmic orgasms, universal orgasms, and chakra orgasms. Seeing your partner as inherently divine does wonders for relationship problems.
In general, sex becomes incredibly meaningful and profound. It’s no longer a routine release of sexual tension (though that’s ok sometimes too), but a gorgeous ritual that brings you to the peak of your aliveness.
Sacred sexuality is an art and I have dedicated years of my life to learning it. But here are a few basics that you can incorporate into your sex-life with relative ease, either by yourself or with a partner.
1. Set an intention beforehand: Just deciding “I want to experience my divinity while I masturbate tonight” or “I want to see the sacredness of my partner as we make love” can dramatically change your experience. You can just keep this to yourself in your mind or share it with your partner, whatever feels most comfortable.
2. Circulate your sexual energy. Sexual energy, and energy in general, is a complex topic I’ll dive more into later, but for now think of your turn-on, your orgasm, the tingles in your pants, as an invisible substance that can be moved around your body. You can move it simply by visualizing it moving. Before or during sex, imagine this sexual energy moving up your spine to the top of your head, down the front of your body and back to your genitals, and then up your spine again in a loop. This will circulate your sexual energy throughout your body which distributes pleasure and increases stamina in people with penises. With practice, it also allows for full-body orgasm. Whether you “believe” in energy or not, it’s a great way to have better sex.
3. Breathe deeply. Breathing in specific ways lowers cortical control, which is great for getting out of your head and into your body. With certain styles of breath, you can even create LSD-like experiences. For now, just try breathing long, slow breaths before and during sex. Breathe in a connected way, with no pause between the exhale and the inhale. These slow, connected breaths can help you move your sexual energy, sensitize your nervous system, and generally open you up to new experiences.
4. See yourself and your partner as divine. Imagine that you have been transformed into a divine being. A god or goddess. An element of nature. Feel that quality and flavor within your own body. If you have a partner, see them as a god or goddess. Try to see them from an intuitive, experiential place. Feel for a divine quality or flavor within them. Then make love to that divinity, with your divinity.
Sacred sexuality is an exquisite, profound way to have sex that nourishes both body and soul. Each person’s experience will be a bit different, and all of this is open to whatever serves you. Take what is helpful and leave what is not. Enjoy.
