Moving away or escaping the past?
Posted on August 14, 2020 by Emmanuelle Stathopoulos-Arnold, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
Are you sure you left the past behind after you moved away? Or is it still ruining your new life?
Some of us have really difficult stories and haunting memories that prevent us from moving forward. In our effort to escape the traumas of the past, the losses we might have endured and the dark memories that keep chasing us, we seek to create a new life for ourselves in a new environment.
Some people just move homes, others change city or Province, others move across the globe. This kind of change is driven by a desire to leave a negative past behind and create a positive future for ourselves. Such changes and transitions are not always smooth and easy though, especially when we are alone.
Having been through loss or trauma it’s not always easy to adjust and settle in a new environment. Striving to find our new place in the world, our new identity, having a supportive home and social environment is key. Making sure we create a comfortable and feel-good home space in which we can relax and soothe our stress and worries is very important.
Being surrounded by an environment that appeals to our senses, one that answers both our aesthetic and practical needs, a place which inspires us and supports us on our journey towards the new life we want to create for ourselves, can be soothing and healing.
Having said that, if we don’t consciously make the decision to release the painful or negative past and leave it behind where it belongs, if we don’t manage to transform this pain into a meaningful new identity, philosophy of life and resilient attitude, even the nicest home, best job and widest circle of friends won’t help much.
My own personal story is a mixture of love and loss, trauma and healing, hope and new love. I won’t share the details here just the essence. Moving to Canada from Greece was both easy and hard. Easy because I was crystal clear I wanted to leave the past behind and embrace my new future. Hard because I soon realized the past can’t be left behind by sheer distance, no matter how far one may go.
The traumas of the past follow us stubbornly and are tightly nestled in our hearts. They leave scars behind. Scars which get easily reopened with the slightest trigger and that happens as long as our wounds have not properly healed. Those wounds need both time and a conscious decision from our part to let go. Let go of the pain, the anger, the desperation, the longing for justice or retribution.
Am not one to like to use the word or concept of forgiveness, but forgiveness is not about forgiving the other person, forgiveness is about setting our own soul free. Even when we cannot forgive, we can come to terms with those or what hurt us. We can reach a place of inner peace significant enough to not get upset anymore. We can take our power back and fully focus on creating and enjoying our new life.
If you find yourself struggling with change and transition, if you have moved to a new place to leave a painful past behind, don’t hesitate to contact me. Even though each of us have our own unique story and experience, there are common patterns to all of our stories that make us understand one another a bit better.
