Welcoming the things that trouble us the most by d e

Loving ourselves as we are, letting go of self criticism, and accepting that our creative process is just as it needs to be.

Welcoming the things that trouble us the most. I spend a great deal of effort helping people (like me) accept and embrace the very things that we struggle with the most. These are generally the things we think we shouldn’t be. Things like anxiety, depression, indecision, or perfectionism. I firmly believe that accepting our stuff as it comes to us, and including our stuff in our creative process results in a more fulfilling life with more simple joy along the way!
Recently, I was asked “how did you come to believe this?” I offered this in reply, and offer this to you with hopes that it might help. These are the two incidents that shifted my paradigm about fighting against myself, and you may find the same:
1. I heard an interview with Author Eric Wilson on NPR, and was somehow altered I guess. Like his words gave me some insight into how to live with myself more freely. Eric was interviewed about his book “Against Happiness” A book about living with depression in which, he posed an argument. He suggested that depression isn’t something to be fought against, but maybe, just maybe if those struggling with depression accept that depressive bouts are a part of the creative process then depressives can enjoy the process the way it is organically. Maybe we can even use the process to fuel creativity like many of our creative heroes?
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=18885211#18881389
2. One of those hotter than-hell days, I was out with a friend. We were headed to the car when I noted that the car, and interior were both black with that optical disturbance thing going on where it just looked like we were going to bake alive if we got in. We got in anyway. I paused and she closed the door immediately. “We’re gonna die” I kept thinking, and she just sat there with the keys peacefully. “God” I was thinking “Just start the damn car already” but my friend smiled gently, eyes closed, and breathed deeply in. “Doesn’t this feel great” she said. “great?” I was thinking. “How can this feel great?” but I went with it for a minute or so. I breathed in too, feeling the burn on the back of my legs and the hot air seeping in every cell of my body. I opened up somehow in that moment, and allowed the heat to feel good. And it did feel good. It felt great in fact, to be at the edge of what one considers tolerable for human safety and find that the heat is in fact, a pleasant experience when it pours into the body and forces every inch of us to feel the extremity. The heat isn’t the point though, acceptance is. What I got from the experience, and what I want to share with you is that when we allow things to just “be” and accept them as they are, we can open ourselves to the possibility that the way things are is good and right. When we fight our nature, or nature itself, we create full-on misery until we realize that we just can’t win. I’m not in any way suggesting that depression, anxiety, or heatstroke is something to be taken lightly, it’s not. But I am advocating accepting ourselves and our nature as part of our own unique process. For most of us, the acceptance of who and what we are gives us the freedom to choose how we want to act in the face of our autopilot path. When we say to ourselves, “OK, so I’m feeling anxiety as I sit down to create. I choose to go ahead and do my thing in the face of it, trust my ability to do what needs to be done, and to know when enough is enough that I can call it done”. That’s where we find freedom to move forward. 

David Eyman is a Creativity Consultant, and Coach for highly creative people. For more information, visit www.eymancreative.com