What If He Isn't Really a Jerk?
Posted on June 24, 2020 by Michele Stills, One of Thousands of Leadership Coaches on Noomii.
Men are expected to live up to conflicting standards of masculinity but are not given the tools and resources necessary to achieve balance.
Sure, it still looks and feels that way. But, what if he isn’t really a jerk?
From an early age, most men are expected to live up to conflicting standards of masculinity. Unfortunately, they are not given the tools and resources necessary to balance their conditioning with their self-image, or taught to balance emotional intelligence with masculinity.
Men are biologically predisposed to masculine and protective behaviors, so it shouldn’t be surprising that the threat response in men, which results in the production of additional testosterone, makes men more likely to be seen as aggressive or threatening in ordinary circumstances. That additional testosterone and cortisol is necessary for the impending zombie invasion, but not so much for JoeBob’s bad attitude in the meeting, or the wife/husband’s “why are we discussing this again?”
To be clear, I’m not talking about genuinely aggressive men, and I’m not giving anyone a pass for coming across as threatening. But I am saying that if we want to eradicate toxic masculinity, we have to stop talking about masculinity like it’s a bad thing.
