There’s More to the Story, Indeed.

Posted on May 04, 2020 by Gina DeRosa, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

(Original blog post from 12/15/2019. See all posts on Sixth Gear Series’ site.)

“The question is not what you look at, but what you see.” – Henry David Thoreau

By now, you’ve likely heard all of the hullabaloo about a recent Peloton commercial showing a woman video-recording her ‘year in review’ with the Peloton that her husband bought for her last Christmas. Some critics shame the company for promoting the concept of a husband buying a piece of exercise equipment for his wife, while others criticize the idea that a thin woman should “need” or “want” to exercise because she does not have to lose weight.

We should keep in mind that there’s always more to every story. For example, with the Peloton commercial, perhaps his wife ASKED for a Peloton or at least HINTED that she wanted one; or, perhaps people exercise because all humans – regardless of their “size” – need to move their bodies to have healthy circulation and range of motion as well as clarity of mind and maybe even the desire to tap into one’s physical potential.

Let’s move on (?pun), because I want to critique another commercial, one from Indeed.com that was created earlier this year.

The scene is in a large room in a corporate setting with dozens of people standing around and waiting quietly to hear an announcement. There is a woman in the foreground to whom our attention is drawn. There is a man who is making the announcement, “It was a tough call, but our new Senior VP goes to….Mike.” The woman shows an expression that seems to combine sadness and frustration yet with an absence of surprise. Someone pats her on the shoulder. The voiceover states, “This wasn’t the first time…Claire had been passed up for the promotion…..” then Claire’s phone buzzes with an alert from Indeed.com: “Interview Request: Senior VP, Finance.” Then the voiceover continues, “….but it would be the last time.” Claire puts the phone down and smiles with a hint of joyous revenge as she resumes clapping for her competitor.

I could take a few angles with this, such as focusing on:

- The inappropriateness of someone finding out in a public setting that they were not selected for a position
- The undertone of women being passed up for promotions that are given to men, especially in finance
- The fact that there was a sea of white people in the room

But I couldn’t help but think that there’s more to this story AND that there’s more to be done before we give up on a company and start looking elsewhere. Hear me out:

- If Claire has been a high-performer, effective leader, and otherwise possesses the skills and qualities that qualify her for the role as much as, if not more than, the others who got the job when she’s gone for it previously, then yes, it IS crappy and maybe downright wrong(/illegal) that she didn’t get it. If this is the case, then I don’t blame her for wanting to peace out and set her sights on another company. However, before she jumps ship, I encourage her to have conversations with the hiring manager, human resources, her mentor(s), and others who can provide her with concrete and legitimate reasons for not getting the promotions as well as feedback on what they are looking for her to improve and what steps she can take to get the promotion next time.

- The commercial serves to tug at our heart strings and automatically empathize with Claire for being passed up AGAIN, but what if it’s warranted? What if she has produced lackluster results, acts like a Martha, is lazy or unreliable, or simply does not have the qualifications for the role? We often have champions in our corner telling us to apply for jobs that we might not be 100% qualified for, but there is a way to tell if doing so is a realistic approach to getting ahead in our careers or if we are too impatient to wait for a promotion or get more training and experience to be a better fit for a role. Claire might need more data to understand how she might not have been a good fit for the role at this point in time.

- Obviously, Claire had already put feelers out and posted her résumé on Indeed.com, because the universe doesn’t work so quickly that it magically sent her résumé in the same nanosecond she found out that she did not get the promotion and then yield an interview request before the applause for her colleague had subsided. When you already have one foot out the door, it’s challenging to stay committed to your current role and to the possibility of growing within your current organization. Claire is clearly feeling unsupported and disengaged, and while she has responsibility to speak up and ask for support (which she might have already made a significant effort to do!), it is very likely that the company also has some work to do to step up their support with the paving of her career path.

- While I can identify with Claire’s frustration with not being selected for the promotion again and her desire to get as far away from her company as possible, I caution her for reacting to the situation so abruptly. I would not necessarily discourage Claire from taking the interview at the other company to see if the opportunity is a better fit for her, because maybe this IS a sign that it’s time for her to get the heck out of there. However, the grass may not necessarily be greener at another company, so I would encourage Claire to take the time to explore her options at both her current organization and others, if she is indeed (pun) ready to move on.

For those of us witnessing this snapshot in Claire’s experience, we should withhold our judgment and assumptions even if they seem to favor Claire, because we might be reinforcing unconscious biases or at least not providing Claire with the support and clarity she needs to successfully achieve her goals. As a professional coach and someone who has been in Claire’s shoes, I genuinely empathize with her but I know that SHE knows that there is more to her story and that it’s important for her to take the time to self-reflect, practice humility, and determine what her goals are and what she needs to do to achieve them. This includes building a kick-ass support system for herself that includes coaches, mentors, and loved ones, because just like you and I, she deserves to have champions in her corner who will help her to write her own story and achieve success on her own terms.