How to be confident on a first date

Posted on April 14, 2020 by Katia Craig, One of Thousands of Relationship Coaches on Noomii.

When we agonize about how to impress a stranger, (even if he’s a hot stranger), we are missing the whole point of a first date.

It is normal to want to show your best side. Worrying about what he’s going to think of you is kind of pointless though. We worry because we are afraid of rejection. But think of it this way, if he’s not someone you’re going to end up with, who cares if he doesn’t like you?

It’s impossible to be liked by everyone. I’ve heard men saying Angelina Jolie is unattractive. Every man to his taste. So, if for some reason this dude did not appreciate what a beautiful person you are, let him go with ease! You just crossed him off the ‘potential boyfriend list’. His loss…

Let’s get this straight, first dates are for investigation. The whole and sole purpose is to get to know the person. There is no romance. No attachment. Only healthy interest. If you approach it with this mindset, you’re going to be calm and confident. But if you stay in your head the whole time, you won’t be able to understand whether there is potential for a relationship.

Here’s the story of my friend Lisa. She is 31 years old, pretty, and quite successful. Lisa is single. In truth, finding a suitable partner was always a challenge for her. So in order to meet someone, she registered on Tinder. One day she ‘matched’ with a handsome 35-year-old German who claimed to be a college professor. He seemed polite and didn’t take long to ask her out. She happily agreed, of course.

On the day she felt excited and a little nervous. Lisa really wanted him to like her because she thought he was a great catch. They met. He was clearly the man who knew what he wanted because he quickly confessed that he was into S&M and occasional illegal substance use. The date barely lasted an hour. Lisa disappeared into thin air.

She then told me she was disappointed because her hopes were so high and she felt deceived…

Lisa is now taking her dating a lot easier and doesn’t get too excited beforehand.

Love, Katia