I am ______________: A case of unknown identity

Posted on June 20, 2011 by Andrea Burk, One of Thousands of Leadership Coaches on Noomii.

When meeting someone new, one of the first questions asked is ‘What do you do?’ This is quickly answered with a job title and a distinct feeling of pride or slight indignity and confusion.
Athletes often pride themselves being an athlete as their identity or who they are. When an athlete’s career ends due to retirement or injury it can often be devastating and lead to depression and counterproductive feelings and behaviours. The same can hold true in a traditional career setting with quitting, lay-offs and retirement.
There are times when identifying with a role or a title can be useful, especially when it helps connect with the essential being of that role. Characteristics associated within these identities can boost confidence, evoke emotions and claim status. For example: I’m an athlete, I’m an account manager and the ever so popular, I am Canadian.
But what happens when these roles and identities create feelings of unhappiness and disappointment? If this is a person’s identity… then what‘s left? Identifying ourselves with one label can have profoundly negative effects on self-confidence and self-concept. Imagine, I’m unemployed, I’m just an engineer and the widely used, I am fat.
What is important to note here is these identities are quite simply characteristics, traits or jobs. It is impossible to be these identities. It is not who you are as an individual, it’s simply something that is. Try the following to help develop your identity outside of your work persona:
1- Recognize who you are: So you might be an engineer or an account manager, but what does this say about you? Perhaps that you are hard working, have great communication skills, dedicated, stand up for your beliefs and a good team player.
• Challenge yourself to come up with 10 personal traits you use in your current role and note how you feel about yourself when you read them. These characteristics are a better representation of who you are compared to your title.
2- Maintain a healthy work-life balance: Set personal time aside each week (outside of work) to take part in an activity that makes you feel alive.
• Think of one person or activity that you have been wanting to spend time with or experience and haven’t. Set a date, do it and repeat.
3- Develop a work purpose: Define your job title as a purpose or a unique contribution you are making to this community or the world. For example: If you are a physiotherapist perhaps your purpose is “To help people live free, uninhibited lives”
• Define your purpose and use it the next time someone asks you “What do you do?” It’s bound to stir up the conversation.

I would love to hear your thoughts, feedback and experience in developing identity or any other personal feat, will you please post a comment or email me at andreajburk@gmail.com.