Inside-out

Posted on March 24, 2020 by Mohsen Zargaran, One of Thousands of Business Coaches on Noomii.

A few days ago one of my colleagues came to me and told me on his collogue A. He grumbled that A just sit back and do nothing. I replied him back, “well, I think it has nothing to do with you.” But he continued that he worries about the company and the future, and so forth. When I delved deeper into the matter, I figured out that his main concern is, why he is working harder than his colleague A and I do not recognize his efforts.

This is just one example of outside-in paradigm and mindset. You may have faced thousands of similar situations that someone is complaining about his job, his boss, his life, etc. But why we’re complaining and do nothing effective to improve the situation. Because we deeply believe that our condition has deteriorated by “others”. Others means our parents, our colleagues, our spouse, our working environment, our boss, our geographical, political, social environment, and so on.

We even sometimes think subconsciously that we are infallible nice individuals who do not contribute to our suffering at all. If you think so, I’m sorry to say that you are a big loser.

Stephan Covey in his landmark masterpiece, 7 habits of highly effective people, defines inside-out as:

“Inside-Out” means to start first with self; even more fundamentally, to start with the most inside part of self — with your paradigms, your character, and your motives. It says if you want to have a happy marriage, be the kind of person who generates positive energy and sidesteps negative energy rather than empowering it. If you want to have a more pleasant, cooperative teenager, be a more understanding, empathic, consistent, loving parent. If you want to have more freedom, more latitude in your job, be a more responsible, a more helpful, a more contributing employee. If you want to be trusted, be trustworthy. If you want the secondary greatness of recognized talent, focus first on primary greatness of character.

Inside-out is a life style, a worldview, a philosophy of life. It is not just a concept to remember. If we are looking for a fundamental change in our lives we need first to change our paradigm from outside-in to inside-out. When I‘m talking about fundamental change, it doesn’t mean a superficial, shallow change which affect your daily behavior for a while, I mean a deep reconstruction of your nature. A dramatic change which transform the deep-rooted, ingrained habits.

It’s difficult, painful, and gradual but it’s inevitable if you’re looking for a new level of living.

Happy paradigm shift!