Why you are not in a relationship

Posted on March 03, 2020 by Nermine N, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

If you have been single for a long time, or in the wrong relationship, this article is for you! Let us first list, in a few bullet points, some of the reasons why this is happening and then, discuss what to do about it.
- The signs or signal you are emitting do not represent who you really are
- You have a long list of limiting beliefs (I cannot be happy without a relationship, I do not deserve one,…)
- You are empathic and generous, and care about how others feel and what they want first
- Therefore, you tend to attend others’ need and forget yours
- You change yourself and can bend in amazing ways for others
- You shrink when you like someone and put all the focus on making them like you
- You can forget about your standards and values quite easily for others
- You become nervous and unsure around the people who might be interested in you
- You talk too much to avoid silence
- You do not listen enough because you are nervous
- You walk all the way towards the other person
- You help them know how to get you
- You give too much too soon
-You give clues and advices for free all the time, before a person even needs to ask for assistance
- You settle for less just to meet the other persons where they are
Although this is not an exhaustif list, let’s see how to reverse the tendency easily. The below list does not follow a precise order so I ’ll let you match each point with its corresponding issues!
1/ Remember who you are deeply and let it be FREELY and COMPLETELY
2/ Remember what you really like to do when no one is there to expect or judge
3/ Remember who you were and what you wanted to become when you were a child and bring it all back
4/ Do not give a rip about what others think
5/ Define and know your needs in a partner deeply and do not bargain about it
6/ Remember we are so many on earth…
7/… And we are all going to die and some point
8/ Remember no one is really THAT focused on what you are doing or wearing
9/ And should they be, do not pay attention
10/ Brief, deeply and slowly, focus slightly on the area of your stomach, where the solar plexus is, and all your emotions! This will help ground you
11/ Feel your feet touching the ground surely and firmly
12/ Ask yourself: “Do I like them?” and not “do they like me?”
13/ Check if you are moving, acting or reacting, speaking or avoiding to speak our of FEAR ( you will know by the way you breath and start feeling accelerated)
14/ Remember to attend YOUR NEEDS first
15/ Let the other person figure things out for themselves and find a way to get to you
16/ Do not EVER FEAR LOOSING THEM
17/ Each time you catch yourself pointing out your own flaws, remember the other person is not perfect either
18/ Remember to list, feel and celebrate your unique qualities!!!
For women more specifically :
19/ Treat yourself like a queen if you want the other person to treat you like this too (in other words, live your life as you intend, attend your needs and speak up your mind!!!)
20/ Remember to go slowly, let him come to you ( do not give him clues, he likes and needs to find them)
21/ Let him be a man, do not treat him like a child
22/ Accept to receive from him
23/ Invest as much as he does, not one bit more
24/ Dwell in your vulnerability and feminity, he does not need you to copy him or compete with him, this is why you are a woman and he is a man
25/ RELAX!!! NOTHING SO SERIOUS IS GOING ON
26/ Take your sweet time to choose properly.

I hope this helps and for private and more personal conversations, do not hesitate to contact me at naguib.nermine@gmail.com
Have a peaceful and bright life.
Nermine