Posted on July 22, 2011 by Christina

Are your partner’s goals dull and uninspiring? Do you leave your coaching sessions thinking that your partner can push themselves even further? If that is the case, a possibility is that your partner hasn’t created powerful enough goals, or SMART goals. A SMART goal is one that is Specific, Measurable, Attractive, Realistic, and Time-framed. Scientific research has overwhelmingly demonstrated that the more SMART a goal is, the more likely that it will be accomplished. You, as a coach, have the ability to push your partner to greatness by helping them create inspiring SMART goals.

Let’s look at the SMART acronym one by one.

Specific
To make a goal specific, your partner has to decide, as precisely as possible, exactly what they intend to do. For example, they may have the goal “Spend more time with my kids”. That’s easy to misinterpret. Does it count if they come home from work/school and watch half an hour of TV together? An example of a specific goal is:

“I will spend at least one hour each day in an activity that involves communication and interaction with my two daughters. Watching TV does not count. Acceptable activities may include board games, sports, help with homework, arts and crafts, and reading. Playing video games together is okay, but no more than twice a week, and only if they let me win sometimes”.

Guide your partner to a specific goal by asking them to describe the details about the goal they want to achieve. Write down as many details as you can; the more details you add, the easier it will be for your partner to visualize their goal, and the more likely they will achieve it.

Measurable
A goal is much more likely to succeed if it contains something that can be measured, such as a number or a score. If your partner’s goal is measurable, there is no ambiguity about whether or not it has been accomplished.

For example, if your partner’s goal is “Lose some weight”, what does that really mean? What if they lose 2 pounds? Is that enough? What about 5 pounds? An example of a measurable goal is:

“I will weigh under 130 pounds by my birthday next year”.

Notice the difference? There is no way you can be mistaken about if your partner has reached their goal or not: they either made it to 130 pounds by their birthday or they didn’t! Brainstorm with your partner different measurable metrics for their goals. If they want to learn to run, how far will they run? 10 miles or 5 miles?

Attractive
An attractive goal is one that your partner wants to achieve. This one always confuses people. “Of course my goal is attractive,” they say. “Why else would I have it?” It turns out though, that lots of people have goals they don’t really want to accomplish.

For example, imagine a college student with the goal “Get into law school”. That’s a fine goal, but what if he only wants to go to law school because his father wants him to be a lawyer? What if he really hates law, and would rather be a veterinarian? Not only is his goal unattractive, but he may achieve it and be miserable in his job for the rest of his life! (A friendly note to you lawyers out there: we’re not at all suggesting that all lawyers are miserable – some of the least miserable people we know are lawyers – only lawyers who really wanted to be veterinarians are miserable!)

A good way to test if your partner’s goal is attractive is to ask your partner the following questions:

* “Why do you want to do this?” This simple question will often very quickly reveal if they have this goal for the “right reasons”
* “Which of your strengths, if any, can you apply to achieve this goal?” The more of your partner’s strengths that are applyied to a goal, the more attractive it will be to them.
* “Is this goal consistent with your values?” If a goal is contrary to their core values, it is a good bet it is not very attractive to them.

Realistic
Nothing is more de-motivating than an unrealistic goal. Research has shown that futility breeds helplessness, which leads to giving up. Futility is what happens when one sets an unrealistic goal. People do this all the time. For example, if someone says:

“I’ve got this gym pass that I never use. Starting tomorrow, I’m going to go to the gym seven days a week, for two hours a day, with no exceptions.”

The problem with this goal is that they have gone from one extreme to another: not going to the gym at all, to going every day. Not only is this harmful to their body, but they have now set the bar so high that they are virtually certain to fail. When they miss just one day, they are likely to start thinking that maybe they are not cut out for the gym after all, and end up right back where they started: sitting on the couch.

A more realistic goal would be, “For the next month, I will go to the gym twice a week and use the stair climber for half an hour each time. At the end of one month, I will re-evaluate whether I should increase that up to three times a week and/or 45 minutes at a time.”

To investigate whether or not your partner’s goal is realistic, ask them questions about their current habits. For example, if your partner sets the goal “I want to run a cattle ranch”, ask them questions about their history with animals, or whether or not they would enjoy living in a rural setting.

Time-Framed
Whenever possible, your partner’s goal should include a specific due date to keep them focused. Without time-framing their goal, they are likely to put it off forever. Here is an example of a goal, both with and without a time frame.

No time frame: “I will start my own business.”

With time frame: “I will start my part-time landscape design business before the 31st of March this year, and have enough clients to be able to quit my current job and work for myself full-time by the end of the year.”

See what a difference it makes to add a time frame? When your partner has a due date or deadline, they have a completely different perception of their goal. Instead of something they are going to do “later”, they now have a goal that is far more real, more tangible, and most importantly, more likely to be achieved. When creating goals with your partner, be sure to ask them “When will you do this by?”.

Now you should be ready to go out and help create meaningful, inspiring, SMART goals for your partner.