Posted on November 17, 2009 by Kurt Shuster

In last week’s blog post, Stephan wrote about the how and why of a simple coaching agreement. The idea is that for coaching to work, you need to put a system or process in place to make sure you and your coach (or client) actually meet for your planned sessions. Yet a common problem expressed by coaches is that their clients often miss their sessions or fail to follow through on their commitments.

My question, then, is “What does science have to say about this problem?” As it turns out, quite a lot. And the good news is that almost all of these “problem” behaviors – missing sessions, failing to complete assignments, being late, etc., can be solved by improving just ONE character trait: self-regulation. So important is this one trait that Florida State University psychology professor Roy Baumeister has called self-regulation the “master virtue”, that is, the one that controls your actions in almost all other areas of your life.

The Marshmallow Test

To see why this is so, we need to go back about 40 years, to a very simple experiment by psychologist Walter Mischel. Mischel seated several young children in front of a plate on which a marshmallow was placed. He then left the room, instructing them not to eat the marshmallow until he returned. He then measured how long each child held off eating the marshmallow. The surprising thing about the study didn’t come until several years later, when he found that the amount of time the person waited as a young child correlated highly with personality traits several years later in life. These traits included reliability, perseverance, and school achievement. In fact, the children who held out the longest had SAT scores that averaged 210 points higher than the others. Indeed the “marshmallow test” is better at predicting success later in life than just about any other measurement, including IQ and socio-economic status.

Self-Control in Action

Here’s a TED video that discusses the Marshmallow Test and shows some hilarious footage of children employing a variety of delaying tactics to avoid eating the marshmallow.

The Master Virtue

What, then, does the marshmallow test actually measure, and why is it so powerful at predicting personal achievement? You may have guessed by now that the test is really measuring a personality trait called self control, also known as “willpower”, “self-regulation”, “delayed gratification”, etc. The reason it’s so important across so many domains of life is that it acts as a regulator, holding back our desire to do what we want to do but shouldn’t. People with high degrees of self control succeed because they are able to forego junk food in favor of fruits and vegetables, resist playing video games when they should be studying, and get out of bed instead of hitting the snooze button.

Since Mischel’s famous experiment, researchers have spent a lot of time investigating this powerful trait, trying to figure out how it works, and how it can be improved. Baumeister has found that not only is self-regulation vital to success, but that it can be improved by consistently “working out” your self control system, much like a muscle can be strengthened by pumping iron. Moreover, increasing one’s self-control in one area of life (say, by committing to floss every day for six weeks) will naturally increase your self control in all other areas of your life. This is why he calls it the “master virtue”.

Improving Self-Control

So given its immense importance in life, how do you actually increase your self-control? Here’s a simple yet effective activity that you can start doing today with your coaching clients.

1. Take the self-control test. Like anything else, an essential component to increasing any behavior is to measure it. Roy Baumeister has been kind enough to let me post his brief Self Control Scale (SCS) questionnaire. Just click on the box to the right to download it. I recommend taking the test (which only takes a minute to do) before any self control improvement program, so you can measure your progress over time. Keep in mind that the client answers the questions, but the coach needs to calculate the score. The first form (Self-Control Test.pdf) contains the questionnaire, while the second form (Self-Control Test Scoring.pdf) describes how to score it.
2. Choose one behavior that requires self control that your client would like to improve. Ask your client to commit to performing the behavior regularly for a period of six weeks. Some good suggestions include flossing every night, running twice a week, committing to show up for all meetings on time, etc. The critical factor is that the target behavior MUST be one that requires some degree of willpower, self-control, etc. Something inherently pleasing like “spend an hour a day reading” won’t have the same effect. Have the client write down the goal and tell them you will be holding them accountable during each of your regular coaching sessions.
3. Take the self-control test again. At the end of the six week period, most behaviors will have become automatic if your client has been performing them as required. Have them take the SCS questionnaire to see if there has been an improvement to the clients overall self-control, and then pick a different behavior to tackle for the next 6-week period. Keep repeating this process every six weeks, making sure to record the client’s SCS score each time.

Not only will this exercise help your clients improve on specific behaviors each six-week period, but by focusing on behaviors that require self control you will be increasing their global self-control as well. This can be verified by tracking their SCS scores over time. Good luck, and have fun!