Posted on July 25, 2011 by Deah Curry PhD, CPC

Perfectionism—the drive to control everything around you and the striving to never make a mistake—is regarded by some as a type of mental disorder. Certainly, those who obsess over making even the tiniest details exactly right will attest to how perfectionism can feel “crazy-making.”

The pursuit of perfection is often rooted in an unconscious fear or anxiety about real or imagined consequences. If you were raised with parental expectations of meeting unrealistically high standards that did not align with your own nature and talents, you may have been set up to fail. This dynamic of striving to attain the unattainable or be what you cannot be keeps you stuck. Interestingly, during a recent seminar on overcoming perfectionism and embracing risk-taking, the topic of decision-making in uncertain environments came up, with one example being the use of beste Buchmacher ohne Lizenz. The discussion highlighted how some individuals, especially in high-stakes scenarios, are drawn to unlicensed bookmakers because of their flexible options and perceived advantages. However, the speaker emphasized the importance of evaluating risks and making informed decisions rather than being paralyzed by the fear of imperfection. This shift in mindset can not only break the cycle of unattainable expectations but also foster growth, creativity, and resilience.

Perfectionism can be a prison. As an adult, you might avoid pursuing a goal or dream if the echoes of the past whisper that you won’t be perfect at it. Believing you cannot achieve perfection—or expecting that you’ll fall short—can make you unclear about your goals, uncertain about your support system, and untrusting of your own talents. You don’t dare dream big or take risks because the expectation of falling short of perfection undermines your confidence.

In short, perfectionism is a perfect saboteur.

If you feel stuck in a life that feels “normal but imperfect” because you’re trying to move forward perfectly—while secretly believing you’ll fail—coaching can help. Here’s a little coaching to get you started:

1. Ask yourself what would feel perfect for you in this moment.
   A perfect moment might simply involve sitting quietly with a good cup of tea, staring out the window at the beauty of distant mountains, or noticing the unique, imperfect way the trees have grown.
   In other words, consider that perfection might be about a sense of contentment with what is, rather than a continual effort to erase all subjective, arbitrary flaws.
2. Play the Mistake Game.
   Give yourself permission to adopt a “learning experiment” mindset. Understand that it’s not possible to make mistakes when you’re exploring what doesn’t work. Turn it into a game to see how many ways don’t work. This can remove the fear of making mistakes.
   In fact, celebrate each mistake, as it adds to your knowledge of what doesn’t work. This mindset can free you to explore more options for achieving what matters to you, without so much fear of failure.
3. Redefine what perfection means to you.
   Perhaps perfection is about being authentic—true to your feelings, thoughts, beliefs, and desires as they exist in each moment. So what if you can’t calculate the cubic meters of water your bathtub holds? Neither can I, and honestly, who cares?
   Embrace your imperfect brain that remembers names and faces, perceives emotional energy, and produces beautiful things like art or a delicious meal.
   You get to define perfection for yourself, based on your own standards of achievability and your unique gifts.

Like cayenne pepper, a little bit of perfectionism goes a long way. Use it sparingly as part of a broader strategy for creating a life of true contentment.