How to be happier - Wise words from an old stranger

Posted on July 13, 2016 by Rashid Ali, One of Thousands of Business Coaches on Noomii.

Do you want a happier life?

Facing sorrows, wanting to be happier than before, is a part of life. We can’t change fate. But the question we must ask ourselves is, how can we at least try to turn things around in our life, and live a happier life?

A friend faces a deep loss

A friend of mine told me a story. Once she was having a very hard patch in her life since her sibling who was also her best friend had passed away. Even after months had gone by, she could not find peace. She could not find happiness. And this loss was eating her up inside.

The strange old man on the street

Once she was sitting alone in a bench outside her college in Lahore, waiting for someone to pick her so she could go home. She told me she never had to wait, someone from her home was always there to pick her on time so she didn’t have to wait. But that day, she had to wait. It was quite a long time ago, when cell phones were not that common and she did not have a cell phone on her. So as she was waiting in the bench, again she had that sad and gloomy expression on her face.

Suddenly, as if out of no where, an old man who was walking by I came to her and asked her why she was so sad. She replied that it was nothing she was fine. And asked the old man if he was lost and wanted to know where to go. He said that he was not lost, and just wanted to ask her what was wrong. Again she answered that nothing was wrong and the guy said “Okay you don’t need to tell me what’s wrong but tonight before going to sleep I want you to do something, that will be good for you. All I want in return is that you pray for me and spread the word to others in need”. She thought that it must be another “totka” or “dum”. But still she politely shook her head in agreement out of respect for the old man as if interested to hear more.

The simple secret

The old man told her to take a piece of paper and on it draw a line. On one side of the line write about all the bad stuff, the sorrows that had befallen her life till that point and on the other side write all the good things, the blessings that she had. She agreed. The old man smiled and went on his way.

Someone soon came to pick her up. It turned out that there had been a small accident due to which there had been a delay in picking her up. This left her thinking, was it all a coincidence that only this day she was supposed to sit there, and then this man would give her this advice? This left her intrigued.

That night, she took a piece of paper and started writing. When she was writing the negatives, the sorrows, she couldn’t think of more than one thing. But while writing the positives, the blessings, the list just kept on going on and on. She felt very embarrassed to see this. She had been blessed with so much in her life, she could hardly count it she thought and yet she had been thankful all this time. She got the old man’s point. After that day she felt much better and moved on with her life. I now know her as a very optimistic and quite a happy person.

What can you do?

Was it all a coincidence? Was that guy a random human or a Godsend? Whatever the case, we might never know who he really was, but the point is this. Has some event in your life left you sad, unhappy or anxious also? Or are you generally not very happy? Too much load shedding, electricity bills too high? Finding it hard to get a job? Marriage problems? Not achieving your goal in life? “Too long” waiting for that promotion? The last salary increment not good enough? Boss too rude with you? Whatever the case, do give this a try. Compare your blessings with your sorrows. But don’t just think about it, take a piece of paper and write it down. Tonight! You will feel much, much better.