Getting Results with Conversational IQ
Posted on April 14, 2016 by Wendy Eustace, One of Thousands of Executive Coaches on Noomii.
If you're not getting the results you want, it might be time to give your conversational intelligence a boost!
The phrases “life changing”, “ground breaking” and “new frontier” have been used to describe her work. According to Judith Glaser, author and business owner, “To reach the next level of greatness depends on the quality of the culture, which depends on the quality of the relationships, which depends on the quality of the conversations.”
Increasing their Conversational IQ has inspired many organizations including; American Express, Cisco, Burberry, and American Airlines, Harvard, Kellogg and Wharton, to apply Judith Glaser’s work to get extraordinary results.
Here is a key piece of CIQ that you can apply to your life now: the Three Conversational Levels are:
Level 1: Transactional
• Purpose is to give and receive information in a TELL – ASK format that validates what we think is true.
• We use it to direct people and often it focuses on rewards and punishments and telling people “what’s on our mind”.
• This approach tends to be about our success or as the author says, it is I-centric.
• The trust is low and the people speaking are not demonstrating an openness to influence.
• When we listen in these conversations, our goal is really to protect ourselves.
• The blind spot is that the TELL-YELL-SELL approach can become more telling than asking.
• The skill to be developed at this level is more “give and take.
Level 2: Positional
• Is about influencing others to our point of view using personal power and influence.
• We are ADVOCATING and INQUIRING at this level to confirm what we already know.
• These are both I-centric and We-centric conversations.
• We listen to accept or reject.
• We want to win at any cost.
• There is only conditional trust.
• The blind spot at this level is being Addicted to being Right and the tendency to ask questions for which we already have answers.
• Skills to be developed are the ability to share the conversational space with people. If they know you have their interests at heart they will be more open and trusting.
Level 3: Transformational Conversations
• At this level we exchange energy, co-create and transform ideas and outcomes with others.
• Our interaction dynamics are SHARING and DISCOVERING which opens up broader insights for us than we would have had individually.
• This creates a sense of shared success and empowers everyone to participate and engage fully.
• We engage with candor, curiosity, wonder and openness, which stimulate provocative questions that elevate our thinking.
• Partnering is done to create synergy rather than groupthink or consensus.
• There is a high level of trust.
• The possible blind spot shows up when we are all talk and no action.
• The skill to be developed is the ability to ask questions for which you have no answers. In other words co-creating.
When trust is high we have more Level 3 or transformational conversations. We create a safe space to innovate, we are candid and the results are amazing!!
